by Mmipe Modise
Marriage is a great institution created by God for a purpose. The structure for marriage is well articulated in Ephesian 5 vs 22-26. Wives submit to your husband, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church. The chapter continues to explain that Christ loves the church. Similarly, men should love their wives.
When I got married I did not know the Lord. We lived outside my country of origin. There was no premarital counselling for us. No family or elders to speak into our marriage.
I soon realized that it is not enough to love one another. The real test is when two people begin to share their lives. If there is no guidance, it becomes trial and error. It is not an easy experience.
My point of reference was what I observed my parents do. I researched marriage by reading books and watching movies. This did not give me all the answers nor, translate into a happy marriage.
We entertained a lot. We always had people around us either coming to our place or we would go visit them. This created enough of a distraction from facing ourselves as a married couple. When the family grew and we had children the attention shifted more to them.
From the outside people saw us as the ideal, happy couple but the truth is there was a lot of frustration in navigating our marriage. It was easy to discuss general issues of life, but difficult to have a real conversation about our marriage. Simple things like discussions on how we handle money or the children’s future. We were married but behaving like two single independent individuals in a relationship.
When Jesus came into my life everything changed. I realised that God is a God of order. There is no need for trial and error. A man and a woman have their specific positions and role in marriage.
Peace was the biggest thing that entered our marriage. Although Christian life is a journey, our marriage slowly improved even as we receive counselling from our pastor. We learned how to relate to one another. We learned how to communicate more meaningfully. We learned how to respect one another.
For any successful marriage, Jesus has to take centre stage.
Are you going through challenges in your marriage? Look unto the Lord for answers. He is faithful to guide you and provide the best solutions to your marriage challenges.
May His Grace bring peace, joy and love in your marriage. Amen.